Why am I always anxious?
Polyvagal Theory on Our Nervous System
Polyvagal Theory: Your Inner Security System
Imagine your nervous system as a bell curve where the middle represents your sweet spot, and both extremes—high and low—are protective responses. Dr. Stephen Porges discovered that we move along this curve based on how safe or threatened we feel.
The Red Zone: Fight or Flight Mode
At the top of your bell curve, your system is running hot—heart racing, mind spinning, muscles tense. Everything feels urgent and intense. Think of that moment when your boss asks to "have a quick chat" and suddenly you're at the peak of the curve, ready to fight or flee.
The Green Zone: Social Engagement Mode
Right in the middle of your bell curve is your optimal zone—where you feel calm, connected, and capable. Your breathing is steady, your mind is clear, and reaching out to others feels natural. This gentle middle ground is where you want to spend most of your time.
The Blue Zone: Freeze Mode
At the bottom of your bell curve, your system has dropped into protective shutdown. You might feel numb, exhausted, or completely disconnected. Like when you've been arguing with your partner for hours and suddenly you just... can't anymore. Your system has sunk to the valley floor to conserve energy and protect you from overwhelm.
Sarah's Story: Sarah came to therapy saying she was "broken" because she couldn't stop having panic attacks at work. Through polyvagal-informed therapy, she learned that her nervous system kept shooting up to the peak of the curve, constantly activated and scanning for threats. Instead of fighting the extremes, she learned to recognize where she was on the curve and gently guide herself back toward the calm middle zone.
Why This Matters: When you understand that swinging to either extreme of the curve isn't a personal failure, it's your nervous system's natural way of keeping you safe and everything changes. Healing becomes about learning to return to that sweet spot in the middle, not just managing the highs and lows. And here's the beautiful part: bell curves always want to return to center. Your system is constantly trying to bring you back to balance.
